Nonsense
by Lizzmeister yo
Summary: Little drabbles about things in the movie that didn't make sense, things that would have been more logical, and characters acting OOC. I don't own the rights to Mulan, or anything involving it.
1. Snapping in a Z Formation

At the dinner table, Mulan poured the tea for her parents and grandmother. Nobody spoke, and they all had one thing on their mind. The war that her father would have to fight in.

Mulan slammed her cup down. "You shouldn't have to go!" she exclaimed, standing up. "There are plenty of young men to fight for China!"

"It is an honor to protect my country and my family," her father replied coolly.

"So you'll die for honor?"

He stood up as well. "I will die doing what's right."

"But if you—"

He put his hand on his hip and began snapping his fingers. "Look, girl, do _not_ make me snap my fingers in a Z for-ma-tion!"

* * *

A/N: I got this idea from when my best friend and I were watching Mulan at school, and we couldn't stop joking around.


	2. An Alternate Ending

Mulan scampered up the roof, her heart racing. There were crowds of people right below her, and she—

"HUYAH!" Shan Yu cried as he burst through the roof. How was that even possible?!

Mulan gave a surprised gasp, stepped back and took out the only thing she could use—her fan.

"It looks like you're out of ideas," Shan Yu said. He lunged and thrust the sword at her, and it went right through the center of the fan. Mulan quickly shut the fan and twisted it, and the sword soared out of Shan Yu's hands and into Mulan's.

"Not quite," she answered, getting into a fight position. She gave a yell and ran at Shan Yu, the sword slicing through his heart. He collapsed on his hands and knees, his life-blood flowing onto the roof. He gave a shuddering gasp and glared at Mulan for the last time before his eyes glazed over and he fell down, lifeless.

It was finally over.

* * *

Does anyone else agree that this would have made a lot more sense than Mulan having Mushu set off all those fireworks and destroying the Emperor's temple?


	3. A Smart Ancestor Fa

Takes place right after Mushu destroys the stone dragon.

* * *

"Great Stone Dragon!" First Ancestor Fa yelled out from the ancestor temple. "Have you awakened?"

Mushu, thinking quickly, picked up the head of the Great Stone Dragon and put it in front of his own. He popped out of the bushes, trying to make sure Ancestor Fa didn't see his body. His body swayed under the weight. "Uh, uh, yeah, I-I just woke up, and I am the Great Stone Dragon! Good morning! I will go forth and fetch Mulan! Did I mention that I was the Great Stone Dragon?"

Ancestor Fa narrowed his eyes and stroked his long white beard. This couldn't be right—something had to be up. "Great Stone Dragon," he said, "come inside and bring Mushu with you."

"Uh, uh, I can't—because, well, you see, Mushu has gone off in search of a more loving and caring ancestral family—one that appreciates him and lets him go off and do important things! You should have just let him—"

Ancestor Fa rolled his eyes. "Shut up, Mushu, I know it's you. What happened to the Great Stone Dragon?"

Mushu sighed and threw the head behind him. He was in for it now. "I… well… I accidently destroyed it."

This was a crime that could not be forgiven. Ancestor Fa grew larger with his anger, his transparent form cackled with the energy of his rage.

"Mushu," he said in a deep booming voice. "For this you shall pay dearly. You deserve to die a thousand deaths for this, and you shall. Starting now." Ancestor Fa waved his hand at the cowering Mushu, and there was a blinding burst of light, and Mushu was no more.


	4. The Horse Must be Immortal or Something!

What I was thinking during the avalanche scene.

* * *

The snow was everywhere—Mulan couldn't see anything else. It was all coming at her, trying to sweep her away, trying to kill her.

But it was worse for her horse. Her horse battled the snow as hard as he could—racing to make it back up the mountain. It was impossible, though; he kept ducking under and reemerging, then again. It was all in vain.

And movie viewer stared in confusion at what she saw on the screen. That horse must be immortal; there was no way anything could survive that much snow coming at them. It would obviously break the horse's legs, and there was no way he could keep coming back up like that.

And a few minutes later—when Mulan, Shang, and the horse were being pulled up by that rope—there was no way that was possible. How on earth could a single small rope be enough to hold up two people and a horse?

The movie viewer sighed. Oh well. Such is animation.


End file.
